Home education is not a magic cure...

Home education is not a magic cure.... I have seen a lot of desperate parents asking in home education groups if home education would be possible and helpful for their children who are having difficulty in school. I am starting to sense the popularity of home education is meaning now it is seen as a fix or option to most issues with school, almost as if it's a magic cure. If school fails, take them out, home education will fix it. 

I can feel passionate home educators hackles rising as it sounds like this post is going to rubbish home education. Don't worry, I am one of those passionate home educators, I love it, I love the family life it has given us, the confidence it has given my sons to follow their dreams, the starting blocks in life that has left my boys with a desire to learn and grow completely self motivated through their lives. I love how it has saved them from losing their curiosity and love of learning, for example my 16 year old teaching himself german and guitar, because he doesn't want to waste his life just playing computer games (his words).

Ok, so why say such a negative thing about home education? Because just getting your kid out of a bad environment or situation in school is not the magic fix. Home education works best when one of both parents are passionately focused and dedicated to the education of their children. This passion and focus is why it succeeds, but it takes huge amounts of effort, time and money... it's not a magic cure. 

The style of education is not the reason home education succeeds or fails, it's the focus that parents put in to their chosen style of educating. For example if you choose unschooling, the most successful example of this are when the parents are really attentive and focused to helping their child with what ever they are focused on learning in their life right at the point of interest. They make opportunities for them, find books, TV shows, activities etc that will build on their child's interest. Also they are pro-active in putting new ideas and thoughts before their kids to see what grabs their interest, whether it's buying a telescope and suggesting they look at stars, providing musical instruments that their children can pick up and start to grow in.... it's not a magic cure.

With a more formal style of learning, for example towards GCSE's the parents will guide their child, encourage them, learn the subjects with them so they can discuss it over the dinner table. Provide materials and opportunities to progress in their chosen areas. This all requires a huge amount of effort and energy, plus a fair amount of crying and sleepless nights to achieve... so again as you can see it's not a magic cure, it's a full time job that takes every ounce of  strength.

I feel the desire to caution parents, just taking your kids out of school is not just the simple answer. Taking them out of school, buying them a curriculum to lead them to GCSE success, is not just the answer. The answer is are you prepared to give their learning your full attention, may be at the cost of your own time, interests and possibly even work? 

I don't want to be a purist, I just want to challenge. Home education can work well even if both parents are working, if one or both has time to still give their attention and enthusiasm to their children when they are not at work, this will take a lot of energy and commitment. 

So in conclusion, any style of home education can work really well, but it's not a magic cure, it does requires absolutely dedication from the parents involved.

Open letter to my MP: regards control of home education

It has been brought to my attention that two members of the House of Lords are starting to try propose a private members bill to control home education (again!). 

https://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/bills/lbill/2017-2019/0011/lbill_2017-20190011_en_2.htm#l1g1

This is my open letter to my MP. The first half is written by another HE mum who is good with words. The second half is personal to me. I am happy for other HE parents to plagiarise this letter. 

Dear MP,

I am a mother who has electively home educated my two sons for the last 19 years. I have noticed with alarm a new Bill which was introduced and had its first reading in the House of Lords yesterday 27.06.17.

Home Education (Duty of Local Authorities) Bill [HL] 2017-19 (Lord Soley, labour.) http://services.parliament.uk/.../homeeducationdutyofloca...

This bill threatens innocent families with a compulsory state registration and monitoring system over and above the current arrangements including compulsory interview of parents by council workers, children also subjected to compulsory interview and assessment of themselves, their work, their health and their emotional and personal life by a council worker. The bill mentions annual assessment but provides demand for parental compliance by law upon request of the council.

This is worse than a permanent investigation under section 47 of the Children Act and amounts to a scandalous and terrifying attempt to impose a tyrannical regime of state overview upon families which, at the very least, contravenes their human rights under section 8 of the human rights act and threatens the health and well being of electively home educated children, many of whom have already been failed by the very system that would be subjecting them to these abuses.

It is also an implicit slur on the character and integrity of families who have chosen a lawful and valid parenting option, usually after serious consideration, for deeply held philosophical and conscientious reasons, or after their child has been seriously let down or harmed by the state system.

I should like to know your stance on elective home education and on the provisions proposed in this disgraceful bill that would put our country to shame in the eyes of any decent onlooker in my opinion.

Will you tell me please, what position you intend to take on this bill?

If this bill had been in place when my boys were young, I would have found it extremely intrusive and stressful to have assessments and interviews, invading our private home life. When I was already doing the most demanding job a mother can do in taking on the serious role of home educating my sons. I took their education very seriously because I see it as a parental role, not a government role. That society is my son's protection socially and emotionally, as 7 years ago I worked out that they both were seen weekly and known by a minimum of 70 adults a week, through activities, doctors, friends, group activities etc. This is 70 adults that would notice if my children were under stress or abused. This is probably more than many school children, as home educated children tend to be involved in many more wide ranging activities with a higher ratio of adults per children than in school. 

Both of my boys without government monitoring or interviews have grown into productive members of our community and are well advanced in their education. This is not the exception, I have met many many other home educating parents and hear of successes all the time. My eldest son is studying law at Nottingham University now,  having achieved A,A,A*,A* at A levels. He is also in the process of application to be a pilot in the RAF; he would tell you how confident and capable he has become from youth without national curriculum, excessive GCSE's and government monitoring. My other son has just taken his GCSE's from home and has accepted a place at Harrogate Army College starting in September. Both of my boys had a carefree, joyful childhood where they learnt by experiencing life alongside us and out of interest-driven learning, which is not something most council officials understand. 

Also I am very concerned that if councils are given power of entry into homes of educators with out any crime being committed that some will intrude in a way that will  harm the most vulnerable children, especially those on the autistic spectrum whose parents have chosen home education to provide a calm routine environment that is low stress for them. 

This bill would be extremely costly in a time of austerity when every public service is struggling to provide already. This is a mallet to crack a nut! The current system of dealing with suspected child abuse is already effective to help those children most vulnerable and in need, without becoming a police state monitoring every family because they choose a different educational style. In Hertfordshire where I used to live the local LEA is currently struggling to assess the home educated children now; if it became compulsory it would be an officious, money-wasting extreme measure.

Home Education can reduce exam stress.

I am currently away staying near a private exam centre run by NorthstarWorldWide, who do distance tutoring and have their own exam centre. We really like their exam centre because it is small quiet, with only private candidates and its set right next to the Peak District, which is so beautiful.

I really love how for Home Ed teens exam stress can be minimised. We can stagger their exams, so we have sat five GCSE's over six months with two last November, one in January and two in the last few weeks (May). So for each set of exams we have been able to spread the pressure and focus really intensely on each subject at a time. We have also found this good because it spreads the cost of paying privately for exams. Also your kids can take them at any age that suits them.

We have only aimed for five GCSE's for each son, as this is plenty to attain most goals, except perhaps very top fields of expertise like medicine or veterinary science. My eldest is now at a top University studying law and my youngest has several options open to him for September which he can choose from soon. Only doing five subjects really reduces the stress of exams, it also means your kids can pick the subjects they really want to do, except perhaps for Maths and English, which are a core requirement for many further education options, but not all so it's worth checking. GCSEs aren't the only exam option for Home ed, check this link for more information: http://he-exams.wikia.com/wiki/HE_Exams_Wiki

We have also combined exam pressure with fun activities when exams or revision are not mentioned, so this week we have been caving and rock climbing, being in the Peak District really has advantages. It may have been a small tactical error to do rock climbing on grit stone which makes your hands bleed, just before an English exam, but oh well, my son is tough. 😜

The other stress relief is needed for the HE parent, get a bunch of other HE Mum's around you who understand and you can vent to. This is a good Facebook group for this: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HELinksUK.IGCSE/

Exams aren't necessary for every child, but if they are something that suits your child's future plans make them as fun as you can as they can be quite dull, tedious and stressful.

Home Education; stuck at home with Mum all day?

How can your kids learn to be confident if they are stuck at home all day? They need to be in school mixing to grow up normal... This is what I was told, what I heard so many times when my kids were little. This is a real fear of people who hear of home education but haven't tried it.  I felt looked down on by my friends who were school mum's, they just assumed that being at home all day was bad for my kids, that they would grow up with out friends or an ability to function without Mum. Often a real fear of relatives of home educated kids is that they will be deprived as they are stuck at home and educated by their mother, how can that be good?

I am going to explain why the above fears are unfounded, using an analogy (yes this is a boot in a sink).

Take a look at this photo above. Let's assume you have never seen a boot before and all you had seen was the sole like this one. What can you tell, as far as you know is this item is limited and it's hard to see how it could be of any use to anyone. If you were then told it was for wearing on the feet, it's hard to tell how it would be that useful except the sole seems like it would protect the bottom of your feet, but how can this sole support your feet or how can the sole possibly be attached to your feet, it seems very limited and if you were asked if you wanted this boot to climb a mountain in you would probably say no. This is because you are only seeing it from one dimension, to really know how it works and whether it was for you, you would need to experience it in all its dimensions and try it on to see if it's a good fit. This is why people have so many fears of home education before they have actually experienced it. They just see the one dimension, they see a kid at home with its mother and this looks dull, limited and how can it be a good thing?

I want to try give you a glimpse of the other dimensions of HE. Firstly yes kids are at home some of the time, but the biggest difference new home educators discover is that being at home to study can have big advantages. All the stress of rushing out of the door to school on time suddenly vanishes, pack lunches, trying to find clean clothes, sudden panics when home work is incomplete or a permission slip needs filling in and you are already late! An HE morning in our house when my lads were young consisted of a cooked breakfast every morning, whilst cooking the boys might watch a bit of TV with Dad before he went to work. We discussed what we had planned for the day, which usually involved discussions about which day of the week it was, what the weather was like, and were we meeting up with friends that day. Over breakfast we talked of politics, philosophy, adventure, the latest news or which games were the best. The point is we were never in a hurry, we had time to talk, share, discuss, all before we did any formal study or any activities. I personally believe these sort of meal time discussions have as much power to inspire and teach as the formal learning later. This blog post is an example of one such morning. Another big advantage of not 

rushing out to school in the morning is you can wear what you like! My eldest gave a talk recently to new and potential home educators, his opening line was "We always wore a uniform for school every day, we wore the same every day, it was a handy uniform you can sleep and work in it, it was practical and comfy, pyjamas" This is a almost true, as my youngest was more likely to be wearing fancy dress costume, from Thunderbirds, policeman, army uniform, what ever he decided to be that day! 

I feel the impression of quiet dull study sat around a table with Mum, who's educational qualifications may be questionable, is really such a one dimensional view of what really happens in HE homes. Here is a blog of a HE friend, this shows a snap shot of fun packed days of learning in an HE home, have a dig through her blog of a real insight in to HE possibilities. The question of the qualifications of Mum to teach the kids seems a valid concern, but again is such a one dimensional view. Learning whilst young happens through more than just formal learning, which alone can be achieved with workbooks from Poundland, but learning truely happens in every moment in many ways. A friend of mine always had a calendar in her toilet, when her kids were at that stage when they were still needed help in the toilet, she would talk to them about the days, months and years on the calendar, her kids learnt the months of the year not in a class room, but on the toilet. People have asked me, but how can you teach things like maths if you are no good at it? Well there is so many online programs that teach maths in a fun way, with testing that shows progress, using these you actually don't need an amazing grasp of maths, but you will be surprised how you actually learn along side your kids and your own ability grows with them.

I think the biggest fallcy about HE is the 'stuck at home' image. This is so incorrect its funny. The main issue when you are home educating is spending enough time at home. We went from one fun group activity to the next, from art classes, sports groups, drama, nature walks, pond dipping, sciences classes, swimming lessons, archery lessons etc etc etc. The main limit is time, money, your own sanity and possibly the need to get some housework done!

Looking back on my lads younger years I see a rich colourful fabric of activity, discussions, fun, study and laughter, that has supported their growing up years, which has seen my lads grow in to confident adventurous young men with a self belief that they can climb what ever mountain they choose to tackle.

Let your kids get bored...

Recently my husband and I have been reminiscing. We are at a turning point in our lives. Over Christmas my Dad died and my Mum had a heart attack, followed by my Husband having triple bypass heart surgery. Also with my eldest son gone off to University and my youngest son applying for the army, it is the beginning of a new season. This has made us all sentimental remember the early days of parenting and home educating life. We have been watching old videos and laughing.

I came across a video that my youngest son made, when he was 8 years old. He videoed a conversation I had with him, you can watch it here. It shows my son declaring he wants to watch TV and me telling him to go be creative with out TV.  I did laugh as I pulled out all the cliched parenting lines, but the point of sharing this with you, is that I sincerely believe boredom breeds creativity. Following this video my son went off with his video camera and made some very creative videos. This is one here.

I want to say loudly and clearly to home educating parents, don't fear boredom, don't worry if your child repeatedly says "I am bored". Let them be bored, let them have time to think for themselves about what interests them.

I went through my school years and probably part of my adult years with no real clue about what interests me and where my passions lie. I was a compliant kid, towed the line and just got on with what I was told to do. You could say this was a good thing, and in some ways it was, but it took me until being a parent when I became fully responsible for my own choices that I discovered what interests me, where my passions are,  I went from being a qualified engineer working in the pharmaceutical industry, to a home educating mother, with a driving interest in how people learn, nutrition and dog psychology.  When you are stuck at home with a your kids every day you might get bored, but you start to find interests and get creative.

I like this university study that was done to determine the effects of boredom on the minds of kids. They found following a very boring task the kids were significantly more creative.

So if your kid is complaining that home education is boring, then don't be fearful and think you have failed, trust that it is a sign that your kids are about to get creative.

 Photo: My Mum, me, Baby eldest, my Dad

Surely Home Education will produce Mummy's boys?

When I started home education, it seemed such a huge task ahead. I felt like an explorer ready to sail off around the world to explore territories no one had been to before, places where we had only heard tales of adventure and off grid living.

 Before I had kids, like probably most parents, I had this picture in my head, of finding nurseries, looking around schools, to make the best pick for my kids future, preparing my kids for school by toughening them up so they would be ready at 3-4 years old for independent school life, but then I found out about home education and it just cried out of adventure and freedom to be individuals.

 This brought up the new fear in me that if my kids didn't go to school, how would they learn to be strong independent men? I had friends around me hint that they would definitely become Mummy's boys, shy and not able to mix with other kids and stand up for themselves. I even heard it suggested that they need to know how to cope with bullies, and learn to stick up for themselves with out Mum. Another time I was told, that my son's couldn't learn to be adults if they were with me all the time.

I am now at the end of my home education journey, my son's have been taught by me, plus a few tutors and group classes. They have spent a huge amount of time with me. I even went to many activities with them, like running cub scouts when my son was there. I sent them to scouting activities and Air Cadets, as they got older. Together we did bus trips, train journey's, bike rides, mountain adventures. We moved house, made new friends and went to many activities where we didn't know anyone.

I have never deliberately pushed my boys away from me, to make sure they grow up strong and independent. As my youngest at 4 years old was a permanently on my lap, having a cuddle. I remember saying to my husband, if he was in school, he wouldn't be able to do that. 

I found I knew instinctively when my son's were ready to do things by themselves and I let them. Not every one develops at the same rate. I remember the first time my youngest went on a train journey on his own, he got in a bit of a muddle and got on a train going the opposite direction, but he learned from that and now at 15, he is constantly on trains and buses visiting friends on his own. I also remember sending him to a  Beaver Scout camp at 6 years old, and he loved it and it didn't occur to him to miss home, whereas he friend who was a school kid and had followed the tradition route of nurseries and childcare, really didn't enjoy it, cried and missed his Mum. Its was simply a matter of when they are ready, and not how much time they spent with their Mum!

As they have got older, they have both shown exceptional confidence in social situations. My youngest had to move air cadet squadrons when we moved house and he instantly mixed and made friends in his new squadron with out any difficulty. My eldest has exceptional self confidence and he didn't even start outside clubs like cubs until he was 9 years old, everything had been with me before that time. An example of his confidence, a few days ago he popped down to his Sixth Form College, where he studied his A levels, to pick up his exam certificates, and got chatting to his teachers, and ended up giving a talk to the 2nd year A level law students, with no preparation. This is the son that didn't attend school until 16, did all his learning from home, was with me every day, pretty much all his life, but this doesn't appear to have produced a shy, quiet, Mummy's boy, on the contrary, it seems to have turned him in to a young man who isn't scared of public speaking, training others,  or any social situation. One time a few years ago he went on a trip to the Houses of Parliament and got chatting to his MP, and ended up being invited to the MP's lounge and the MP brought him dinner, and ended up chatting to the speaker of the house, so yes he is not shy. 

My youngest is currently doing his last GCSE's this year, and has an interview at the local College today, and also has applied for Army College, as his dream is to be a Paratrooper, which he has wanted since he was little. He is fitness training and preparing very seriously, and doesn't lack any confidence that he can go for his dreams.

So if anyone tells you, if you don't put your sons in school they will become Mummy's boys. It is not true!

How can kids get good grades from home education?

My eldest son has just passed his A levels with A*, A*, A, A and is off to a top University to study Law in a few weeks. 

Friends have now been asking me for tips on how to help their kids achieve good grades. I want to state straight away, before anyone gets angry, it's not necessary to get good grades to be a success in life. Having failed my A levels I am speaking from experience, I have had a wonderful life so far, with interesting jobs and having met wonderful people all with out good grades. 

BUT, I do have some tips to help your kids achieve the best they can in their education. 

Tip number one: Chill out while your kids are young! Really have lots of fun, do many interesting things. You can do a few basic learning activities like maths, learning to read and write, but most learning can be done by following interests and getting out and about in the world. I think inspiring your kids to find life interesting by finding that spark that interests them and feed the fire. May be your kid loves animals, then go to farms, go see animals, touch them, watch documentaries about them, sign them up for zoo keeper holiday club, etc. They might not end up following this path later on but it's more about letting them see the world and being interested. The most noteworthy comment I got from my sons A level teachers was that he was interested in his subjects, which they remarked was very unusual. That I believe was helped by the fact learning for him has always been led by interest. 

Tip number two: play to your child's strengths. Don't fix in your head an idea of what you consider is academic success. Get to know your kids, if they have been in school a while, it might be hard for them, as they might not know what interests them, as all their lives they have just learnt what they have been told to learn. Time is a great healer, it might take a while of just being, chatting, living and doing interesting things for you and your child to start to find a passion for learning. It might surprise you and be a love of learning to cook or may be making videos to post online or a particular sport. I have discovered with my own kids that forcing them to be interested in something I think is worthwhile is a fruitless task. Also be ready to adapt constantly to their changing interests and strengths as they grow. The only constant I have found in home ed is the constant need to rethink my plans. 

Tip number three: Read to them, read lots and lots of books to your kids when young. Reading is wonderful, you can inspire and they can learn so much, right from your sofa and for free if you use the library. Even if they are reading by themselves read to them as this can lead to discussions and shared experiences of the stories that are such powerful learning tools. 

As your kids get older you can introduce more formal learning if they start to have a particular direction they want to head academically. You might need help with this if their interests don't match your skill set. I hate teaching english, and as my eldest has ended up taking all subjects based on that horrific thing called essay writing, I hired a good friend who was an english teacher to help him. I have done the same for my youngest son. Whereas being an engineer I felt perfectly comfortable teaching them physics, biology, and maths.

Basically just keep adapting, encouraging and listening to your kids. My youngest is completely different to my eldest, so there is no point trying to force them down the same road academically. It feels like an impossible climb, but keep going you will get there. 

This is us on top of Ben Nevis this summer, it was hard work but what a feeling when you reach the top. :-)

Housework is overwhelming you?...

Do you home educate and are you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted?... Is your house out of control and you only just manage to keep enough clothes clean for the kids to wear, but they are in a pile somewhere in the house waiting to be put away? Does your garden need weeding and the grass need cutting? Have you forgotten what colour the floors are in your kids rooms?

Can I let you in to a secret? All the above things are normal when you home educate.  Can you be different? Probably not with out killing yourself in the process.

So why bothering blogging about it if there is nothing we can do about this? Because I believe we need to shift the way we think about ourselves and our home.

Here is my list of things that can change:

1) Stop comparing yourself to school mums!

It is tough being a mum, whether you home educate or not, the biggest difference is the sense of responsibility Home Ed mums feel towards their kids education. So the following is a generalisation based on how it feels to home ed, so please don't shoot me if you are a school mum reading this.

There are three types of school mum, ones with all the kids in school who work away from home full time, ones who have some in school and some at home and a few who either don't work or work part-time.

Firstly the ones who's kids are in school and work away from home full time, guess what? There is no-one in their houses messing it up all day. So you can't compare yourself to them. I had a lovely neighbour, who was in this situation, and I always felt like a bad mother and beat myself up about it, when I went over to her perfect home! Everything was organised, floors were clean, everything put away! ARGHHHHH!

Secondly some with kids at home and some at school, these mum's you can relate to, because they will have toddlers probably throwing toys and food around, but still remember they have not also taken on the full responsibility for their children education. So you can't really compare yourself to them.

Thirdly mum's who don't have a paid job or a part time job while their kids are in school. They have free time alone! How they spend it is up to them. You have zero time alone, ever. So stop comparing!

2) Us mum's/dad's who home educate, have mostly been in school ourselves, so a lot of us have the mindset of formal study times and term tables. Lets throw this out of our heads. If you need to take two weeks off to get control of the house because you feel like you are drowning, then DO IT! Stop all study and get the kids to help, and get on top of things, not to perfection, but to the point where you feel like you can function again. You can then start studying again with a clear head. Kids learn a lot from sharing the responsibility of caring for the home.

3) Set a few small routines in place for first thing in the morning. I learn't this from Flylady. If you can get a few little things done every morning, then they at least won't hang over your head. My personal routine is, get dressed immediately, unload the dishwasher, put the washing machine on, empty the kitchen bins (recycling, compost etc), then make breakfast. Then the biggest issue is remembering to move the washed clothes from the washing machine to the tumbler dryer or washing line later, I often set a timer on my watch, as I always forget and get distracted by the kids.

4) Bin ruthlessly, really get rid of a lot of stuff, lets face it, our kids don't play with most or their toys, we have lots of clothes we don't actually wear. Keep only the things that bring you joy, I learn't this from this amazing ladies book, its really works. I am probably half way through the process she suggests and I feel a bit more in control than I did. The best bit about it is that you actually become aware of what you own, then you spend less money, because you know what you have and where to find it.

5) Know you are not a bad mother/father and you are not alone. Its was very hard for me to admit that I was overwhelmed, because when my kids were younger I was considered by family and friends as a bit silly, probably wrong, to home educate. If I was to say I couldn't cope, they would just say, well you can put your kids in school! So ye, its not always easy to home educate.

6) Enjoy the chaos, my kids are now all grownup (18 & 15), they don't really need me as much for daily care. It won't be long before they leave home, and then my house will be tidy, organised and I will be wondering what to do! Enjoy the laughter, enjoy the madness, its only for a season, then you will miss it, trust me!

Should I use a curriculum?...

I noticed a few new home educators have been asking, which curriculum should we use?
Can I suggest, what about no curriculum! No curriculum? Really? ...I am not anti formal learning, I just want to open your eyes to the possibility of the wonderful world of flexible home education.

I can talk with confidence about this, as we have used curriculum, when I first started home education, 18 years ago, there weren't many people doing it. I managed to find a few people and pinned them down and questioned them with my list of 'how to HE' questions. One veteran home educator wisely counselled me not to tie myself to a formal curriculum as it would restrict our creativity and exploration of subjects. I heard what she said, but I was scared and under pressure from disapproving relatives and friends around me, I felt I should formally follow a curriculum as then I won't miss any topic of learning or mess up.

So thats what we did, I found at the time there weren't many curriculums available in the UK, as all of them were developed and produced in the USA. So we used one that was being imported at a reasonable price, which looked pretty comprehensive. We stuck with this until my eldest was 10 years old, but I observed that my eldest son was getting more and more morose, many mornings he would come down stairs, stop half way, sit down with a sigh, and ask me how many pages of work he had to complete today. This wasn't making my heart sing, as my idea of home education was exploring topics and enjoying them, finding things fascinating, exploring the world.

When my eldest son was pre-school age, our favourite thing was to snuggle on the sofa and read lots and lots of factual picture books, my son loved learning, and was fascinated. I didn't see this when he was working his way through work books from a formal curriculum.

I didn't start my younger son on the same formal curriculum, as he was such a lively practical child, he didn't suit this learning style at all. This is when I started to doubt what I was doing. I tried many different learning styles out, we did Charlotte Mason, 5 in A Row, Sonlight, workbooks etc. Non-really suited us, so finally with trepidation, I stopped searching for formal ways to lead our learning and started exploring things that interested us, at the time my eldest was fascinated with marine life, so we started exploring that, reading books, watching documentaries, visiting Sea Life centre, going to the beach to catch crabs and explore rock pools. Suddenly this is where our learning became alive, we weren't restricted by how many pages we had to complete that day, and we reignited that passion for learning and exploring.

Having never liked history at school, I absolutely didn't want to get a dry old text book and teach my kids dates on a timeline. Instead, we read books together of stories set in history, like 'The Machine Gunners' or 'Huckleberry Finn'. We read and listened to a ton of Horrible History stories, my youngest could sing some of the songs from them, learning history with out realising. We visited castles, and places of historical interest, like Omaha beach in Normandy, which the boys were so moved by the cemetery for all the dead, which was very shocking, and helped them grasp the horror of war.  We watched movies based on historical events, which always an sparked interest in the era that the movie was set.  For example, I remember watching Oliver, and the boys starting to ask about the Victorian times, which is not something we had ever looked at, from that we found the amazing 'Victorian Farm' series on TV, plus 'Turn back time' which looked at the history of the high street. We found that so fascinating, we went to visit our local village high street butchers shop, and they had old photos of the shop through the years, they were very happy to chat to us about it.

As well as topic learning, we went out and about joining in with other home educators. We did group art lessons, practical hands on group science lessons, we learnt to build cob walls, we did nature groups with pond dipping etc. We did sports groups, many kinds. We went on trips, walks and park visits together.

We have taken several trips to Europe, where we toured about. In one trip we tried to experience as many countries as we could. Which included learning to speak the languages of the country we were in, reading signs and menus, talking to locals. Experiencing the biggest mountains my sons had ever seen at the time, which sparked a plan to climb all the highest mountain in the UK, which we will have completed this summer. We have been to the Olympics, we have met the Queen, and over the years the boys have gone off on many adventures with their various scouting and cadet groups.

Need I say, we really didn't miss a full formal curriculum, we did use various online maths tutorial programs to keep maths ticking over, but this didn't kill our love of learning in the other subjects.

This is how we enjoyed learning up to the age where my sons started to think careers and wanted qualifications to support their future careers. At that stage we studied IGCSE's with my eldest and are currently doing the same with my youngest, but this is very positive formal learning as we have a clear goal in mind and we are looking to the future. My eldest then went to Sixth Form College to study A levels, where he studied History formally for the first time, his History teacher told us it was so refreshing to teach a student that was genuinely interested in the subject. This week he is sitting his exams and after he will be heading to a top University to study Law.

I hope this might inspire someone to take the plunge and try flexible Home Education.

It will be alright...

When I look back on the early years, home educating seemed so fun, a small amount of formal learning, mixed with a huge dose of informal learning, plus fun clubs, activities, sports and days out. We have done so many things, the most memorable for me were things like making houses out of clay that we mixed with our feet, trips to castles with friends, swimming outings, wide games in woods, touring Europe, visiting DisneyWorld, big parties in our garden. Daily things I loved were snuggling on the sofa teaching my kids to read, watching interesting documentaries, and messy play with paints and play dough.

It is lovely to look back on those things, but I try not to forgot too the huge uncertainties that you face when your kids are little and you decide to take full responsibility to home educate them. Also the pressure from relatives and friends, who think you are going to break your kids. It's a case of hindsight, I wish I could have had that certainty, known the awesome grownup lads I have now and see how it will work out, then I would have perhaps have been less fearful, and enjoyed those relaxed younger years with them even more.

The season I am in now, is very tightly timetabled, as my younger son and I have targets to achieve three IGCSE Science exams by November, then Maths and English, next summer with possible two language certificates and an European Computer Driving licence. On top of that he wants to achieve black belt karate, three star kayaking, level three sailing, plus the highest level at rock climbing he can get on the NICAS scheme, plus training to being a competent horse rider. On top of that he is a committed member of the AirCadets, and is doing his Duke of Edinburgh's award, plus all the exciting activities they provide.

I can see my home educating journey is nearly at an end, I am not fearful now like I used to be, as I can see my boys following their dreams and ambitions and it's exciting. I still look back though with fondness on those simpler days, enjoy them my friends with little ones, it will be alright.

Too busy to think...

I have absolutely nothing to say. Ever get that feeling of complete lack of inspiration? It usually occurs after being too busy for too long, which pretty much sums up home ed life. 

As with many home educators I am working two jobs, actually it's probably three jobs. Full time educator, dog boarder, house wife, plus trying to start retraining myself for what I hope to be my next job when my kids wave bye bye. 

All the busyness is kind of a brain wipe, as you crawl in to bed at night relieved to be there for a break. 

I did realise though I actually love these mad busy years, I thrive when faced with a challenge. Having to relearn my schooling just ahead of my youngest son to keep him on track to take his GCSE's in a year or so. Sometimes he is ahead of me and loves to tell me about it. 

I am currently also navigating the UCAS system with eldest son, which has been super fun, visiting all the cool cities in the UK, just because they have a University. I am typing this as my son drives me to Liverpool. 

I am looking forward to completing all this educating and having that huge sense of achievement and joy of watching your kids head off to conquer their own dreams. Also, if I can be quite honest here, having that 'told you so' feeling to all those who told me you can't home educator. 

Enjoy your busyness.

Simple guide to GCSEs...

EXAMS! This word fills us 'normal' home educating parents with terror, it drives us to tears and keeps us awake at night. Not because exams are not achievable, but because the whole system of specifications, exam boards, exam centres, booking procedures are like a black art designed to confuse 'normal' parents and make them believe only a trained specialist can navigate it all.

So as promised to several friends, I am going to write here a starter guide. Keeping it as simple as possible. Its not going to include all the information, but this wiki page is a full guide. So my aim here is to just calm your nerves and get you heading in the right direction.

1)  Pick a subject... Go for IGCSE (international version of GCSE), as this means you can avoid practical papers (mostly, except languages) IGCSE are accepted by colleges. If you are worried whether your chosen IGCSE will be accepted for future activities, go check the requirements for future activities your teen might have in mind.

2)   Pick an exam board......I do this by having a good look at the subject course books available for the subject. You could pop to WHSmiths for the hands on feel, or Amazon you can read reviews. I have made mistakes with texts books, bought some and taken a look at them and instantly disliked them, some are SO boring you want to fall asleep within seconds, others grab your interest and suck you in, so it may take a few tries to find the ones for you. There really is not enough difference between the exam boards to matter which you pick, so by choosing the one with the most user friendly material is one great way to decide.

3)   Find an exam centre....Best way is to ask local home educating friends, who have already used one, this is because they vary greatly in quality and price. Failing this go to the exam board websites (see the wiki page above). The exam boards have links to schools that will let private candidates sit with them. You can talk to the exam centre you pick, you won't need to book the exam until about 4 months before your child wants to sit the exam, its worth chatting in advance to the exam centres, just in case they have special conditions or problems with your chosen subject.

4)  Plan your work... If you are using tutoring (online, distance or personal) your tutor can help with this. If you are going to study the subjects on your own, I find the best way is to look through the full coursework book and work out when you would like to take the exam, i.e two years (can be a lot less, we did ICT in 2 months). Then divide the books chapters to give you time to cover the material and allow a month or two at the end to thoroughly revise. Revision can be done using past papers, as many as possible works best. You might want to stagger your exam subjects, we did a few a year for several years, this spreads the cost and the stress.

5) Don't abandon your teen... Most home educators have several children to work with, all I can say is there are some phases when you will need to work more with the teen who is working towards exams, than your perhaps younger children.  I had a whole year where my oldest child had most of my time, but now he is in College and my youngest has all my time. So it works out in the end. I have also heard of parents getting annoyed at their teen for not focusing and pushing it along themselves. I have found they need help to dig in to a subject, get enthusiastic. You need to get passionate along side them about the subjects they have chosen, find interesting trips and documentaries to supplement basic book work. You may need to change your lifestyle to adapt to having more serious work to do, please adapt, this is only a season and it passes quick. Let your younger kids join in with age appropriate versions of the course work, i.e biology, looking a cell structure, everyone can have a play with microscopes and slides and learn.

6) DON'T PANIC... having a good cry can help from time to time, just focus on the small steps right in front of you, this will help you when you want to hyperventilate.  It does feel like climbing a steep mountain.

But having reached the top, the view from up here, makes it worthwhile.

My kid won't focus...

Patience is the most important tool in the home ed. tool kit. When our kids aren't interested, learning as fast as we thought they should, concentrate for as long as they should; our response needs to be patience. 

We need to stop and think, how can I change my approach to engage with my child, grab their interest. 

Perhaps we need to notice their interests and work with those, drop our own agendas and search our hearts to find what makes their hearts beat. 

It could be that the season in their lives is changing and we haven't caught up yet, they may be ready for a more mature approach to learning. 

What I am trying to say is the issue isn't with your kid...I can hear in my head people reading this and saying "kids need to just knuckle down and work, it's not my issue, some kids are just lazy"

But I believe when the curiosity to know is there, the learning happens. Curiosity can be sparked, encouraged like a fire that's fed wood. 

Many different things can fuel the fire of curiosity. Simply changing subjects, so if your kids passion for dinosaurs has waned, move on,  even if the beautifully planned lap books are incomplete. 

Also sometimes we need the patience to admit defeat, that our awesome plan to complete a set curriculum we have purchased at great cost to our pockets, isn't lighting that fire. We might need to swallow our pride and change our approach. I have had to do this so many times in 17 years of home educating, that now I am much slower and more careful about jumping in to a paid set style of learning. I have discovered that often, when I thought I needed others help in teaching my kids, when actually what my kids needed was my passion, time and focus on them. The lastest program of work, wasn't going to light their fires.

For example, when teaching my youngest to read, he didn't need a program of phonics drummed in to him daily, what he needed was a mother that knew the phonics sounds and was prepared to daily sit and enjoy reading simple fun books with him, repeating the sound and slowly building that confidence in reading. This takes huge amounts of time and patience. Sorry it's not a button you can press and your kids will learn because you have asked them to at a time that suits you, in a subject you think is suitable for them. I found story books that my son loved, ones with a cute dog in it, and I spent time enjoying them with him, this is how he learn't.

Anyone who knows me knows my love of dogs, well recently I have been learning how to engage and teach my Border Collies more effectively, one of the most helpful things I have learnt, and I have observed to be true, is when I am passionate and focused in what I am trying to teach them, they will be focused and passionate. If I get side tracked or lose interest, so do they. Border Collies being super intelligent not only learn what you are teaching them, they learn whether what you are teaching them is important or not by really how much effort you give it. I think to a degree children are just the same, if we are enjoying a topic of learning, discussing it passionately with them, enjoying it, throwing ourselves into, they too will learn to love it. As long as we stop before we start faking  interest. 

But again patience is the key here, because you need to be patient with yourself too, sometimes you just won't be able to give your full attention to learning, the housework overwhelms or the baby has been crying all night, but that's ok, just recognise that its unfair to then yell at your kid for not focusing when you are completely distracted. On these occasions admit defeat, give up! Make hot chocolate, break out the cookies and all sit and watch TV (you might be able to throw in an engaging documentary, and let someone else do the inspiring that day). 

The rocket fuel of home education...

Inspiration and passion, that's what we need, what we need to let happen, encourage and step back and watch.

Indulge me whilst I dip in to another dog analogy to explain. When we brought our first dog home, Hal the Border Collie, extreme gorgeousness wrapped in fluff, we had a steep learning curve to know how to handle our working machine disguised as a cuddly toy. We met an amazing dog trainer at the local club and she took us one to one and started to show us the process.

The thing we did most and our trainer asked us to do every day was play with Hal, get his ball and muck about with him, over and over. Also between every command we were teaching him, we had to stop and play with him. We did as instructed and played with him every day.

It wasn't until later that I started to understand the process that we were in,  we were inspiring Hal, giving him a passion, showing excitement and fun, to help focus him on us and inspire a desire to undertake tasks, like searching, retrieving, and even sitting still. He knew if he sat still that would mean he got to play ball and have fun, so he enthusiastically sat still. He learn't to hunt for his ball, then soon other items like lost keys, with amazing enthusiasm and passion. He now hangs off my every word, why? Because he knows any minute I might do something incredibly fun.

All this because we focused on inspiring him, letting him have a passion.

I bring this subject up, because I am starting to see the fruit of my home educating in my eldest son. I decided about six years ago that I didn't want to teach History formally, old school style, getting a history book and reading it, learning dates or studying specific history timelines etc. I decided I wanted to just enjoy it. So I hunted out some cool, fun, brilliantly produced documentaries on the TV, all different sorts, reenactments, exploring history ones, anything with a lot of visual action, battles, fascinating stories of peoples lives in, like Villians and Heros BBC documentary or the History mystery's.

I didn't realise at the time that I was inspiring and sparking a passion, but I see now that I did, as my eldest son decided to take History A level at Sixth Form college. They let him take the course with out any formal history training or exams. He is loving it, he loves the subject with a passion, he is enthusiastically doing extra research at home to support his college learning, he has thrown himself in with both feet and is aiming for high grades.

Never underestimate how just enjoying learning with your kids with out serious formal work, can spark a life long passion and desire in them that can propel them forward in the future, its like rocket fuel to their lives.

Do you want to go to prison?

Prison life, I wonder what it is really like. I have heard that some inmates prefer the life, find the strict institutional nature feels safe and comfortable enough. We might think this is strange, but I guess if you have spent most of your life in prison, it might begin to feel comfortable.

Why would anyone choose prison? I am guessing outside life might be too hard, no job, bad relationships, bad habits that lead to crime. When you look from the outside the loss of freedom and choice seems massive, that lovely freedom to wander in fields or mountains, to have picnics with friends, BBQ's, to spend time with people that you love. You aren't locked in to a confined space with people that may hate you. 

Things about prison I wouldn't choose: being locked in everyday, guarded by prison guards, told what to eat, you can't leave when you want to, you have to wear a prison clothes, there are high fences around you and you don't get to choose who you are locked up with. 

Today I read an article in the news that made me spitting mad. http://www.itv.com/news/central/2014-07-10/coventry-couple-given-criminal-record-for-taking-children-on-holiday-during-term-time/

Parents are being criminalised for choosing what they believe is best for their kids, but now both parents have criminal records for doing this. 

How is this right? How is this best for the children concerned? I would have been incredibly stressed as a kid if my Mum & Dad were potentially facing a prison sentence. All this couple did was take their children out of school for 12 days which weren't approved by the Head. That is it! 

So my reason for discussing prison is to say, so school is basically kid prison now? You can't leave when you want to even if your parents sincerely believe you need to have a holiday, because of family stress? 

So as my youngest son says, why do kids go to prison everyday? He looks through the schools high fences and sees kids locked up, wearing all the same clothes, with supervisors watching over them to check on their behaviour. Apparently some school kids feel the same, according to this news article they tried to tunnel out of school, under the 12ft security fence! 

I hear parents tell me how there has been a letter home explaining to parents that they can only have certain foods in their pack lunches, and must wear certain colour socks, this all sounds very strange to my youngest who has never been to school, he can see it from outside eyes for exactly what it is, kid prison. He read the above news article today and came and discussed it with me, he can't believe that parents are being treated like criminals. 

I know this blog might be offensive to some parents who are happy with their kids school experience,  but I want people to see there may be a different dimension to living, learning and growing that their kids are not experiencing, a freedom that when you are living in it, makes the institution of school seem strange and prison like.

How to master Home Education...

I love sailing and the sea.  The power and drama of the ocean, the tales of adventure at sea, the stories of explorers and pirates. I have sailed against spring tides, which makes you move backwards, I have landed on islands.

  

Spot me.

 I have raced in Tall Ships Races, been hit by line squalls. I have capsized, climbed rigging and been becalmed in the North Sea.

 I have done kayaking, rowing, motor boats; you get the picture, I LOVE water activities and the whole romance of the sea.

The sea is so majestic, I also collect picture of lighthouses with waves crashing against them, I am drawn to the sense of power. The sea changes with the tides, seasons, it is unpredictable and uncontrollable.

I was chatting with a friend today about how kids learn and I can't help going back to sea analogies. We discussed the fact that learning is not linear, you can't draw a nice straight line graph to plot your kids progress, its more like the waves of the sea, you have peaks of obvious progress and time when your child seems to resist all input, like the sea with drawing from a beach. This all seems to change with the seasons. Its not something you can predict or control.

What if you have a course set, you have a particular heading in mind, like reaching the coast of Finland from England and you have to contend with the sea and its moods. 

Sailors have to understand how to harness the wind, and consider the tides. When sailing in to the wind you can't sail in the direction you want to go, you have to tack, zig zag slowly towards the heading. This is what we need to do as Home Ed. parents, we have to understand that changing direction, doesn't mean we are not progressing, if for a time our child was enjoying and learning well  from a particular maths course, but suddenly loses all interests, its ok. Just change tack, turn your boat, find a different ways to love maths, go outside and count cars, or cut up apples to understand division. Its ok to change tack, you are still heading on the same course, just adapting to the wind and sea. 

There are times when you can be sailing hard on a 'reach' here is a video of someone doing this, the wind is behind you and pushes you forward, its a great feeling, but if the tide should change and its a spring tide you can be sailing hard forwards at the same time as being pushed backwards by the water, you make little or no progress, or even move backwards. A spring tide is very powerful. The only way to deal with this is get a tow or change direction and land somewhere else.

I think this is like when you feel that sense of progress with the kids and suddenly you get that phone call informing you that your landlord wants to sell the house you are living in, or that someone you love is suffering and needs you. Get a tow, or pull in. When we had to move house, actually 3 times in 5 years, we had to change tack every time, so we decided the best learning for the kids was experiencing the whole house move process, so we took them to solicitors we showed the how we searched for houses, looked around houses and dealt with estate agents.

I will always love the sea and its defiance of man's designs to master it. I think we need to relax and go with the wind and tide with learning and just know, you can't master it, but you can ride the wave.

My today...

Today is the only day you get...

I went out early this morning to walk my dogs. I absolutely love Sunday early morning walks. The road was empty, it felt like I had the village to myself, bliss. 

I walked in to the fields down the footpath, I spent some time kicking hawthorn hedge clippings off the path. Then headed down the path. 

I passed a beautiful fluorescent blue flower in wheat field, sitting there all alone. 

The birds were lively today, rooks squawking, sea gulls wailing, sparrows competing with black birds and skylarks flying up from the path in to the air in protest as we walked by. It's was cooler today, and it was as if the birds were gathering and commenting on the weather. I looked up as I heard a flock of geese pass overhead. Little rabbits ran off the path in terror as my dogs approached fast! 

I repeated this walk with my guest dog, as I now have a job looking after dogs. She took great delight in plunging into the stream by the path and sent up a large heron that had been hiding there.  

As I was walking back I thought to myself, this is my life, I have always had that feeling that my life was a future thing, but today is the day, the only day I have right now, it's not grand or particularly glamorous, as I started the day cleaning toilets and picking up dog poo.

 So I have made up my mind to enjoy each today. Try and notice the beauty, laugh at the small things and not be so stressed about things. 

Pros & Cons of Home Ed...

Having conversations today with a few friends who like the idea of home education but don't know if it's right for them. So I thought I would write a list of pros and cons. This list is personal to me, so not an exclusive list, just things I have noticed:

Cons

Total self sacrifice of time and energy.

You can easily forget that you exist as a person.

Sometimes you have to be the one to say get on with it, as no one else will.

You will probably wake in the night sometimes, and lay awake worrying about your kids education.

You can't just pack your kids off to school in those life crisis moments, they live them right along side you.

You have to be self disciplined to get motivated everyday and keep going when you don't always want to.

Most activities you do, will cost money, so you have to get creative about free activities.

What you put in to it, you get out of it. By this I don't mean traditional academics, I mean heart and soul, giving to your kids daily, finding new ideas, finding your own enthusiasm for life.

You can't wait for others to plan your day or activities, you need to organise activities for family or groups, for example, if you want to attend a drama class you may need to create a drama class.

You need to be prepared to adapt constantly to your children's changing interests or needs.

You need to be patient and like being with your family.

For formal study, you will need to either learn just ahead of them or get online or tutor help for subjects you don't understand.

You will have opposition to home educating, people will question you constantly and some may think you are either crazy or just plain wrong.

You won't be able to have a 40 hour a week job, you may need to cut back or even move house to afford to home educate.

Your main limits are your imagination, energy and money.

Pros 

Precious unrepeatable time with your kids.

Rejoicing watching every beautiful moment of change and growth in your children.

Ability to tailor their education to their strengthens and passions.

Time to adapt to life's flows and ebbs, when sickness or big life changes happen.

My kids have been taught by someone who completely understands them and hundred percent wants the best for them.

You can holiday in school term time.

You can have all the outdoor learning you want and snow days when you like.

You get to meet and learn from a whole range of different people and make friends with a wonderful mix of personalities and background.

Subjects and interests are only limited by imagination and not limited to a set curriculum.

Your kids can choose what path their study takes them, it could be very practical, like Outdoor sports learning or it might be more formal and lead to exams, but its up to them.

You can travel around Europe/rest of world and learn about different cultures and languages whilst others have to learn it from a book.

Your kids can give lots of energy and time to extra curricula activities, like scouts or orchestras and if they have to be out late or camping all weekend in the rain, they don't have to rush to complete homework or be up early the next day for school.

Teenagers can get the sleep and low pressure they need when their bodies are changing and their hormones are raging.

There are many online learning programs and access to information is immense with the internet, add libraries and tapping into friends or family who have special skills can add to your kids learning.

Your kids will have time in daily family life to learn household task and animal care, that they may not have time for if out all day.

Every new government idea about education, won't change you or your kids goals.

Your kids will see how you manage paid work and housework, and learn from that.

You can all have time to think and freedom to just be.

You will have a close family. Rushing and stress will not be a big part of your household, but laughter will be.